On Womanly Offenses
Posted by Sarah in Look Somewhere Else For Porn, Pervert, Maybe You Had To Be There on June 26th, 2009

There's more than one kind of douche in this ad...
How I make risotto
Posted by Sarah in Barefoot And In The Kitchen on June 23rd, 2009
A special hello to visiting Iron Chef America fans! Thanks for the RT, ICA!
Like most people, I believed that risotto was one of those foods that was just too much of a pain in the ass to make at home. It was “restaurant food”, a step above the general repertoire of the average amateur gourmet chef. Then one night while watching Bobby Flay beat some dude on Iron Chef America I started thinking:
“If they can make something that’s supposedly so complicated and hard on ICA in the midst of everything else they’re doing, it can’t be that hard.”
So. Resolute, I did a quick search on http://www.allrecipes.com which revealed that there are literally endless variations on risotto. Plain risotto is a “base food” like rice (actually, it’s made with arborio rice) or mashed potatoes or chicken. You can put anything in it. I saw recipes for everything from subtle mushroom risotto to a dessert risotto with strawberries and chantilly cream. Which looked revolting but still.
The first time I made risotto, it turned out pretty good. I’ve made it quite a few times since then, and refined my techniques a bit. Having said that, I really believe that risotto is one of those things that is impossible to make badly as long as you follow a few basic rules. The caveat, of course, is that I have no idea whether I’m making risotto correctly, only that the end result is delicious.If you’re a pro chef or already know how to make risotto “the right way”, this post might make you cringe. Whatever.
This is how I do it, for two.
If you’re going to put anything in the risotto - sauteed mushrooms, shrimp, chicken, veggies, bacon - you want to prepare those first and then leave them on the back burner till the risotto is cooked. Besides your add-ins, you’ll need:
Beef stock or broth - about three cups-ish or one of those nifty boxes you can pour from
Olive oil
Butter - don’t use margarine for god’s sake
Arborio rice
Dry white wine - I use Two Buck Chuck Sauvignon Blanc. Yes, really.
One or two cloves of garlic, minced
About a quarter of an onion, diced
Make whatever you’re going to add to the risotto. Warm the beef stock in a sauce pan and leave the heat on low so it stays warm. Have a ladle handy for adding the stock to the risotto.
Pour yourself a glass of wine since you aren’t going to use the whole bottle anyway. Make a roux by adding equal parts olive oil and butter (just eyeball it) to a large skillet. Sauté the onion and garlic till the onion just starts to turn translucent. Add enough arborio to cover the pan in a single layer over the onion. You won’t believe how much this stuff will expand by the time you’re done. Sauté the arborio till each grain is semi-translucent with an opaque white center - should only take a minute.
Pour about half a glass of wine into the pan and start stirring. You don’t have to stir constantly but you do want to keep the arborio moving most of the time. Don’t stir too fast and don’t swirl the pan. Stirring is what gives the risotto its characteristic creamyness. After a minute, you’ll notice that the wine is being absorbed. Wait till the arborio won’t come together any more when you stir through it. Now, add a ladle of stock. Stir that till it won’t come together anymore and then add another ladle. Getting the picture? Keep doing that till you’re almost out of stock.
Now, taste the risotto. It should be creamy with a slight bite to it, not soft like regular rice or really crunchy. The consistency of the sauce should be close to good mac and cheese. At this point, you can add in whatever you have ready. I like to throw in a small hand full of shaved Parmesan as well, just to up the flavor and creamyness.
That’s pretty much it. It’s not hard at all and as long as you stir it pretty much the whole time and add enough stock you really can’t mess it up. This stuff sticks to your ribs too…it’s absolutley amazing winter food but good pretty much any time. I like to serve it with a simple salad and whatever wine you cooked it with.
One other thing that makes risotto really awesome is what you can do with the leftovers: Take the cold risotto from the fridge and roll it into little balls. Roll those in breadcrumbs (the Italian ones are good) and then fry them till they’re golden brown. Some people say the little fried risotto balls are even better than the original risotto.
In vain
Posted by Sarah in Get Some Culture, You Peasant, Things I'm Not Smart Enough To Have Written on June 5th, 2009
If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.
- Emily Dickinson, Not In Vain
Still working on it…
I can’t stop watching this
Posted by Sarah in There's No Porn In Here Either on April 17th, 2009
Speechless.
Posted by Sarah in Opiate Of The Masses on March 25th, 2009
Some Christian woman is saying “I told you so” because Irving Feldkamp, who lost nine family members in the Montana plane crash including two of his children and five of his grandchildren, is the owner of a family planning facility that performs abortions. Apparently because of this, he deserved to lose so many of his family. It’s some sort of divine retribution.
This isn’t satire or a sick joke. This woman means every word she wrote.
I don’t have the words to describe how this makes me feel. PZ Myers did, so I’ll let you hear it from him. Eloquent as always, he puts into words what I could not.
Try this: Purple Haze Chevre
Posted by Sarah in Barefoot And In The Kitchen on March 19th, 2009
Looking for something different? Purple Haze is a fresh goat cheese flavored with lavender and fennel pollen. I eat a lot of cheese - A LOT - and it was unlike anything I’ve ever tasted before.Very smooth, creamy and with lots of savory flavor. It was so incredible I wanted to cry when I realized I had eaten it all.
Purple Haze is made by Cypress Grove in Arcata, California from milk from their own special, free-range goats. Try it with some rustic bread and your favorite zin, or like I had it in a salad with walnuts and baby spinach.
This above all
Posted by Sarah in Things I'm Not Smart Enough To Have Written on March 18th, 2009
Yet here, Laertes! Aboard, aboard for shame!
The wind sits in the shoulder of your sail,
And you are stay’d for.
There … my blessing with thee!
And these few precepts in thy memory
Look thou character. Give thy thoughts no tongue,
Nor any unproportion’d thought his act.
Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar.
Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel;
But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
Of each new-hatch’d, unfledg’d comrade. Beware
Of entrance to a quarrel but, being in,
Bear’t that th’ opposed may beware of thee.
Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice;
Take each man’s censure, but reserve thy judgement.
Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
But not express’d in fancy; rich, not gaudy;
For the apparel oft proclaims the man;
And they in France of the best rank and station
Are of a most select and generous chief in that.
Neither a borrower, nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Farewell; my blessing season this in thee!
be of love (a little)
Posted by Sarah in Things I'm Not Smart Enough To Have Written on March 17th, 2009
be of love (a little) more careful
than of everything
guard her perhaps only
A trifle less (merely beyond how very)
closely than nothing
remember love by frequent
anguish (imagine
her least never with most
memory)
give entirely each
forever its freedom
(dare until a flower,
understanding ceaselessly sunlight
open what thousandth why and
discover laughing)
- e. e. cummings
On the dichotomy of being ill and inescapable familial obligations or “My Sister F***ing Eloped”
Posted by Sarah in Posts Only My Mom Reads on March 16th, 2009
I should presage this by explaining that my sister eloped in January and I found out a few weeks ago. My new brother-in-law Ryan’s parents put together a last minute reception for them on Saturday.
So on Friday I wake up feeling like complete ass - really bad vertigo and i could barely hear. Sinuses again. I’ve had more sinus problems in the past six months than I’ve ever had in my life. And it always gets really bad on the weekends too, like it saves up all week so that it can ruin my days off. Sometimes I feel like if I call in sick one more Friday my boss (hi Paul!) is going to start thinking I just like three-day weekends. I wouldn’t blame him.
I felt a little better after I sat up and the pounding went away, but still not even close to human. Saturday I had to go to the reception and pretend like I felt fine so that people wouldn’t fawn over me because I hate that. Long story short, I didn’t really get enough time to lay around and get better, so as usual I’m back at work on Monday and I still feel like hell. And I keep getting bloody noses.
Go me.
The Captives I
Posted by Sarah in None Of This Stuff Is True on March 6th, 2009
They came into our village a few hundred stadia north of Athens in the dead of night, like the black wraiths used by nursemaids to scare children. At dawn, we were roused from slumber by the soldiers, demanding that we gather in the square. Those that resisted were beaten. Before the eyes of our weeping mothers they selected the most beautiful of us and unceremoniously marched us out of the village, stopping neither for good-byes or our meager possessions. Some of us didn’t even have shoes or proper clothing. One sobbing girl was naked but for her long hair. Before the sun had peaked over the roof lines, the soldiers and twenty-five young men and women were marching away from our homes to an unknown fate.
The next day we were joined by yet more soldiers and pretty Athenian captives, and we wondered at our destination. Whispers in the dark of night echoed fears of slavery and tribute to far-away shores. Some tried to escape but were quickly captured and beaten. It seemed as though the stream of tears should muddy the ground we slept on. The sordid heat and dust of the day’s march checked our moans but pulled us deeper into despair, so that when the city appeared on the horizon, most of us barely raised our heads. It was only as we were passing through the gates that some of us began to look about with wide eyes at the dirty, crowded streets of Athens. It wasn’t long before we were herded like chattel into the dank hold of a ship and underway.
Two cold dark, wet days later we felt the ship slow and then bump against the docks of an unknown port.
